Halloween 2020. I'm Confused. Do I Wear a Mask Over My Mask?
These are indeed strange times in which we live. For instance, and for starters, I know I'm writing and publishing this Halloween blog a day early, and that's because this year the holiday falls on a Saturday. I always publish on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.
Next, I'm not sure what the proper protocol is with this whole pandemic mask thing, and how it'll screw up the Halloween costumes I'm considering wearing. I mean, just how Darth Vader will Darth Vader be if he's wearing an N95 mask over the whole helmet face mask get up?
I've also considered dressing up as a Bank Robber, but once again, who's going to take a Bank Robber seriously if they're wearing a politically correct Covid mask? If this were real life, can you see a guy walking in to rob a bank wearing a Covid mask carrying a gun, and walking up to the teller with a note saying "don't make any sudden moves, this is a bank robbery ".? The teller probably would have to question the robber's sincerity because on the one hand the guy's threatening you with certain death with a gun, and in the other hand, has taken the time to wear a Covid mask to keep you from catching a deadly virus. Mixed signals, to say the least.
The good news this year for those of us who may not be as physically attractive as our costume might require is this, take Cinderella, for instance. We all knew she was supposed to possess at least enough exceptional beauty to capture Prince Charming's heart. So, if you're challenged in the "Looks Department", this may be your year for pulling off the Cinderella fantasy, or even the sexy French maid. The mask will definitely help you in hiding whatever it is in your head that makes you feel unattractive, and perhaps give you some extra help in the self-confidence department when approaching Prince Charming at the costume party. This works equally well for men, too. Go ahead guys, dress up in that suave airline pilot costume. That great looking gal that you might not have had the confidence to approach before will never know you really resemble Steve Buscemi under your mask.
If you had plans of wearing "The Scream" mask that was originally taken from a painting by Edward Munch, and made extremely famous in the "Scream" movie franchise, don't bother. That Covid mask is pretty much going to eliminate the entire impact of the Scream mask, so you might as well just stay home.
Going as a ghost will be entirely redundant, too. What's the point? You're dressing up as an entity who has passed away, and you're wearing a mask to keep from catching a virus that can kill you? Uh-uh, won't work. Although, thinking further about this, maybe you could give this one a try and see if anyone picks up on the irony! Same thing goes for dressing up in a Devil's costume. Ooooh, scary! A Devil who cares about your health. Probably, not gonna work, either.
This mask thing is really f'ing up my choice of what to wear.
Gangsters, Skeletons, Pirates, Death, Beetlejuice, a Shark costume, are all out for pretty much the same reasons.
Maybe, I should just dress up like a doctor because then wearing a mask would make sense. Unfortunately, I have a sneaking suspicion I won't be the only one at the party who was faced with the same dilemma and came to the same conclusion. Oh well, technically, I probably shouldn't be attending a Halloween party anyway. It's only going to be awkward having to conduct conversations from six feet apart, trying to hold a drink while attempting to carry the hand sanitizer that I'll need to use after touching anything and everything in the room, anyway.
Maybe, I'll just stay home with the lights off, This way, the rug rats in the neighborhood will leave me alone. Is it wrong to use Bah Humbug for Halloween?
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