Today, We Celebrate the Patent of the Bra. Let’s Give it the Same Support, it Gives Us!!!
Today, we celebrate the anniversary of the patent of the bra or brassiere, for you formal types, in 1914. I'll be out front with you, it gives me great satisfaction to be able to celebrate a topic such as this that is near and dear to my heart. Not in the literal sense, I'll leave that to the ladies in my audience, and you cross dressing men. You know who you are.
You're gonna have to cut me some slack here, because my generally sophomoric sense of humor won't allow me otherwise, I have to get the double entendres off my chest, so to speak.
I promise, I will get to the "Fun Facts" portion of the program shortly. I think a little background, at least in my experiences with Bras go, is in order.
First off, let me express my sincere sympathy to the women in my audience for being stuck having to wear these rather restrictive contraptions. If it were up to me, I would outlaw the damn things. I know, I know, you're probably thinking that I'm only thinking about this from the male aesthetic, and you wouldn't be completely wrong. In all honesty, and especially in hot weather, I can't stand wearing anything that is restrictive in terms of clothing, so I can only imagine the discomfort the bra provides. So, ladies I fully lend my support, at least in the figurative sense to you, if you want to ditch your bras. Don't thank me, I'm only thinking of you. It's the least I can do.
Speaking as a red-blooded American boy, let me take you back to my time as a pre-pubescent young lad, growing up on Long Island. I remember the fascination that the brassiere held for me, probably from the first time I encountered the lingerie section of the Sears catalogue. Oh sure, when my parents were around I would thumb through the bicycles and sporting goods, but the second they left the room I was right back at the lingerie section like a bee to a beehive. I'm sure you ladies are probably thinking, "What a little pervert", but I can almost guarantee that 95% of the guys reading this were doing the same thing!
Finally, as I got a bit older and started dating, bras became a real live thing, and learning how to unhook one without fumbling around helplessly is fairly important to a guy. I mean, no one wanted to be steaming up the windows of a car and have your date wishing she were anywhere else than with ol' fumble fingers. You know, wearing some kind of label by the third date stating that it’s a front or back clasp would go along way towards eliminating some of the awkwardness. Remember ladies, we are hormonally driven idiots when us guys are teenagers, so please forgive us.
I'll never forget the scene in Happy Days when Richie was having difficulty with this exact subject and Fonzi comes along, without missing a step, unhooks a bra to Richie's amazement.
I even learned how to become a proficient left handed driver in case the opportunity ever presented itself.
These days, I've gone from my fascination with the female anatomy, and the brassiere, to looking at myself in the mirror and wondering if I'm still a "B" cup, or not. In reality, I was kinda hoping that the Manssiere made famous on "Seinfeld", would have come to life so that we men could enjoy the support of a comfortable backstrap, proper support and the ease of Velcro instead of clasps for a fastener. All that, without the stigma that comes with being a cross dresser. Sounds like a win-win, to me. It's either that, or I could just lose weight. Life can be so cruel!
Okay, so I promised you some "Fun Facts" in celebrate of this rather esteemed holiday, so here goes:
1. The term “brassiere” was first used in Vogue in 1907. This means “support” which is what a bra is used for – to support our breasts. From there, it was shortened to the “bra” as we know it today.
2. Crete is accredited with not only the first corset, but also the first bra. In fact, they were wearing bras hundreds of years before the rest of us. Funny thing is Grecian women wore bras and corsets that supported yet exposed their breasts. You can see things like depicted in their forms of the Snake Goddess.
3. Ancient Greeks thought the Milky Way was made from drops of breast milk from the goddess Hera.
4. It was not until the 1920’s until a husband and wife team began changing the way bras were and actually started giving them cup sizes.
5. Mary Phelps Jacob created a backless bra with two handkerchiefs and a pink ribbon in 1914. A New York City socialite, Mary sold this design to Warner Brother’s Corset Company. This wasn’t the first bra type created, but it was one of the most popular.
6. The average bra size is now a 36DD. Breasts are growing and being desired larger and larger.
7. In the 70’s, the first sports bra was invented out of (get this!) two jock straps! It’s a bit disgusting to think about that part of it, but at the same time, sports bras are our lifesaver when it comes to running, jumping and working out!
8. Early bras were also known as “bust bodices” or “BBs” in the early 1900’s.
9. In 1968, women decided they didn’t like bras because they were “instruments of female torture” and they threatened to burn them! Unfortunately for them, the police wouldn’t allow that, so they had to settle for tossing them in trash cans.
10. 1907 was the year Vogue magazine first used the word brassiere in print.
11. Those of you who enjoy a good padded bra can think Frederick of “Frederick’s of Hollywood.” He invented the first padded bra in 1947. In 1948, along came the first push-up bra. Frederick can also be thanked for the first front hook bra and the thong, if you’re interested in that little bit.
12. The average bra size is now a 36DD. Breasts are growing and being desired larger and larger.
13. 6 number of times most women will change in bra size over their lifetime.
14. $16 billion amount spent worldwide on bras last year.
15. The worlds biggest breast augmentation is a 38KKK.
16. The left breast is usually bigger than the right.
17. There is an NGO that fights for women’s rights to be topless.
18. 1lb how much the average breast weighs.
19. Breasts can get fat (even though they’re already fatty tissue).
20. According to studies, British women have the largest breasts… 50% wear at least a D cup.
22. The most expensive bra in the world is Victoria’s Secret’s $15 million fantasy bra
23. The first push-up bra was introduced in the 1800’s.
24. In 2011, there were more than 307,180 breast enhancement surgeries performed in the U.S..
25. In China you can major in bra studies.
26. Sleeping in a bra makes breasts perkier. Women tend to be split right down the middle on this matter. The first half faithfully keep their bra on through the night—some for comfort, others because they firmly believe it’s the secret to flouting the forces of nature—and the other half hardly make it home before unclasping that baby. Sorry to disappoint the former, but sleeping in your bra is not what’s going to keep ’em pert. What will? “Wearing a supportive bra over time can help, especially when exercising and breasts are significantly stretching or bouncing up and down,” says Luciani. “Other than that, there aren’t many ways to really avoid it.” Le sigh.
27. In Hawaii, Texas, Ohio, New York, and Maine it’s legal for women to walk around showing off their breasts, but they can still be picked up on public nuisance laws.
28. 8 stone (112 pounds) largest natural breasts recorded in the Guinness Book of World Records
29. Implants miraculously saved an Israeli woman from death by Hezbollah rocket attack (Lebanese military organization). During the war, she was wounded in the chest by shrapnel but survived because of her boob job, done two years prior. While the patient is fine, the implant, unfortunately, did not survive.
30. In 2008, there were nearly 18,000 breast reductions performed… on men. (1)
So, that’s it. Everything you never knew you wanted to know about bras, and hormonally challenged teenage boys. Thanks for reading!!!
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